They say marriage is about finding your better half. I have often wondered who came up with this expression. Because technically, if there is a better half, there must also be a less-better half. And after years of marriage, I have a fairly good idea which half has been assigned to which category. :P
BH, of course, believes that the term “better half” was invented specifically for him. Not because he is particularly better. But because he has successfully convinced himself that he is. And confidence, as we all know, is half the battle. The other half is usually fought by the wife. :D
The Art of Listening
Marriage starts beautifully.You meet someone.You talk for hours.You listen to each other. You think, “Wow! We understand each other so well.” Years later...
Me: Did you hear what I said?
BH: Yes.
Me: What did I say?
BH: I don't know.
Me: Then how did you hear me?
BH: Very efficiently.
I stared at him. Apparently, BH has invented a new form of listening - Advanced Marital Listening. Hear everything. Process nothing. Respond with “Hmm”. That little “Hmm” is a very versatile word. It can mean: I agree. I disagree. I have no idea what you are talking about. Please continue. And, most importantly... I have heard enough.
Status: Conversation successfully terminated by a single syllable.
The Great Household Decision
Before marriage, I believed important decisions required discussion. After marriage, I discovered there are different levels of decision-making. Some decisions require discussion. Some require negotiation. Some require patience. And some require a completely unnecessary 45-minute explanation of why the thing I suggested three minutes ago was actually his idea.
BH: I think we should do it this way.
Me: That's exactly what I said.
BH: No, no. I mean it properly.
Me: What is “properly”?
BH: Let me explain.
And there begins the TED Talk.
Forty-five minutes later, after diagrams, examples, historical references and probably a small committee meeting...
BH: So basically, we should do what I said.
Me: Yes.
BH: Good.
Me: Which is exactly what I said.
BH: No, you didn't.
At this point, I decided to protect the sanctity of marriage.
I said nothing.
Status: Idea accepted. Ownership successfully transferred.
The Directions Department
Driving together is another beautiful aspect of marriage.
Me: Are we supposed to turn here?
BH: No, no. Keep going.
Five minutes later...
BH: Actually, I think we should have turned there.
Me: There?
BH: Yes.
Me: The “there” that is now five kilometers behind us?
BH: Yeah.
Me: Then why did you say “keep going”?
BH: I thought there would be another route.
Of course. There is always another route. And if there isn't one, there is definitely a scenic route. Getting lost is apparently not a navigational error. It is an opportunity to explore.
Status: Destination unchanged. Confidence undiminished.
The Official Version… According to Me :P
After years of observing BH, arguing with BH, laughing with BH and occasionally wondering why I married BH... :P I think I have finally understood something.
Marriage isn't really about finding your better half. It is about finding the person whose weirdness is somehow compatible with yours. Someone who can annoy you in exactly the right way. Someone whose habits drive you crazy, but whose absence makes the house feel strangely quiet. Someone with whom you can have an argument about absolutely nothing... and five minutes later laugh about something completely unrelated. Someone who knows all your irritating habits and has still decided to stick around. Maybe that is what makes two imperfect halves a reasonably functional whole.
And perhaps “better half” doesn't mean one person is better than the other. It simply means that somewhere along the way, two people have become so used to being together that life without the other would feel a little incomplete.
Of course, if BH happens to read this article, I would like to clarify one thing. He is definitely the better half. I am merely the half who notices everything, remembers everything, writes everything down... and therefore gets the last word. For now.
PS: He has already told me that this article is exaggerated.
I told him I don't remember him saying that.
He said, “I definitely did.”
I said, “Hmm.” Marriage :P
Written without AI. Powered entirely by marriage, observation and questionable amounts of sarcasm. ;)
