Does Life Change After Marriage?

Hell! YES! (I do not mean it changes to "Hell" :P)
A rhetorical question - Is there any 'time' in your life which has not changed?

Some enter marriage with rose-colored glasses and some with yellow-colored glasses. Such colors prevent us appreciating the natural colors of married life ;) No phase of life is a bed of roses.
I am not here to paint a beautiful picture. As I understand life, I would vouch for my childhood being the best part of life. But...Come to think of it, there were Problems..Fights..Issues which were BIG then. If those problems and fights looks small now, don't you think we are doing the mistake of using the wrong scale of measurement? :)

After marriage, I understood, Men are from Mars (Not Bars :P) Women are from Venus (Not Fungus) :D We are from two different worlds. So, even our thinking has to be worlds apart sometimes :)
Observing these differences, let me quote an incident from our life.

My BH (Better Half/Bitter Half/Butter Half :P ;) ) picks me up from my office, and starts the conversation :

BH: How was work today?
Me: It was Okay! But,I wonder why people up the ladder cannot plan well. Some days, A few of us in the team have a lot of work and others won't have so much work. Productivity of a person will come down if such a scenario continues for long. Doesn’t it? By the way, I had got a call from a person called ‘X’ from ‘Y’ company at 3.30 PM today; He said he has some good policies which ensure high returns at the end of 3 years. I told him we had enough. (I changed the topic without waiting for his reply :P).
I had called Mrs. ABC; I told you that she was not keeping well. It seems now she is recovering. (I had not finished)
BH: I thought the answer to that was just good or bad :P Why do you want to exert yourself so much? You are wasting so much of energy! (Rolling over his eyes)
Me: I just thought, I should be sharing things with you :( I did not know that they weren’t important to you. :( :(
BH: Aaaaarrrrggghhhhhh!! (Scratching his head)

Observation: Men like to keep things short and to the point. They just take what is applicable and chuck the rest and they get going. (Probably they have memory problems or probably they use that memory to remember test match scores/records ;) :D )

If it is yours truly who starts the conversation :

Me: How was work today?
BH: Neither good nor bad.
Me: Why? What happened?
BH: (Alarmed by the next series of possible questions that would bombard) Nothing, It was normal.
Me: Why did you tell that it was not good then?
BH: (Closing his eyes, Gathering patience :P) Had many meetings to attend. Busy day.
Me: So, what is the happening thing at office?
BH: Nothing.
Me: Tell me something, all your answers are short; you don’t want to share anything with me? :( :/
BH: There is nothing worth sharing.
Me: Then you are filtering out things from me. Why do you want to do that?
BH: Shall we talk about something else for heaven’s sake?
Me: :( :(

Observation: Women want to know teeny-weeny particulars about everything. All possible angles of the topic, other people's reactions/opinion over the topic, ensuring that they are down to the last detail..(They have ample storage capacity in their memory :D :P )

We are not the "two-body-one-soul" kind ;) We celebrate the differences between us. We differ yet we prefer each-other! :) Life would have been so boring if we were from same worlds :P

Change is eternal. Such things make life unpredictable, exciting and challenging! :)

Mad - Huve :)

Writing after gaps is something that I can’t avoid :( Given my job profile, sitting in office is a crime. And even when I have the luxury of being in office, getting caught while writing would be a crime worth publishing in my own newspaper :) So here, I find myself thinking as to what is it that I can scribble about - "MARRIAGE" :)

Marriage makes you a patient person.It does. Why I say so? Because you learn to ignore habits,words,awkward moments, obnoxious people etc...This inculcates a deep level of patience, almost to the point of pathetic bliss. I had an arranged marriage and am proud say that it’s not ‘uncool’ :) But not more than often I do get to hear : "Are you serious?? You got yourself a boy who carried a stamped approval from your parents??"

Now, I wonder if that was really the impression I sent out to people. I wasn't the arranged marriage types!?! (Huh!) And why is that as youngsters we do not want to be caught dead promoting the concept of parents/family approving a guy beforehand?! It's not all that bad, and I can say that from my own experience :)

“How do you figure out in one meeting that this girl (or guy) is for me?” wondered a bachelor friend of my husband. Looking at me, and I could almost anticipate his next line of question...“Did you see him (pointing to my husband) and something went abuzz in your mind?”

Uh...well, It was nothing similar to that.. I didn’t have to answer any of the cliched questions like “My favorite hobbies” and “Do I cook” as it didn’t figure on our priority lists. We instead discussed our individual careers and how we wanted to reach at our goals. The bachelor friend was surprised and probably even disappointed that we weren’t fitting the average ‘Arranged Marriage’ couple bill.

“Oh, so you guys didn’t really ask each other too many questions.” He rued.

My single line advice was – “Don’t fret so much before you meet a prospective girl. Just ask what you think you want to know about her work or her life. If you do strike a chord then you won’t have to whack your head to think of questions,conversation will flow between you guys.” We did that, and guess it worked! :)

Although, I don’t have any qualms in admitting the fact that my husband is someone who thinks diametrically opposite (to me) and doesn’t really believe in pampering my whims but he's very practical. Somewhere, I have to admit that this is what I need to keep me grounded in life. But then again, I can do with a little bit of pampering :P ;)

New start on old habits :)

Singapore 2010 : HarbourFront. Phone calls. Gossiping. Cafeteria. Bird watching. Watch craze. Jade. Telok Blangah. Badminton. Two Monitors. True fitness .Decisions. Got homesick. Shopped. Talked. Laughed. Late night shows. Rib-tickling one liners. Bus No 124 n 131. Crescent n Heights. Maggi. Fren engaged. Thailand trip. Massage. Mindalign. Last day at MSO. Vansh. Nothingness. People. Girly fun. Donuts. Night talks. Bridge walks .Laughed some more. Cried. Felt. Hurt. Happiness. Goodbyes.


Bangalore 2010 : Manasu. Parents. Love. Nostalgia. Online Chatting. Dairymilk. Usual hangouts. Chocolate fantasy. Dell Bangalore. Rooftop. Sandwich. Fruitjuice. Froth. Memories. Route 1. Acquaintances. Cried. Fell sick. Friendship. UNO. Teased. Got bullied. Scooty. Got pampered. Dumb charade. Black. Shopping. Laughed. Night out. Traveling. Home food. Bounvita. Emails. Gmail. Frenz weddings. Outings. Corner house. Farewell. Cab fun. New job. Dreamt. Confusion. People. I10. Frenz for life. Changes. Matrimonial sites. Horoscope distribution. Bangalore rains. Found Love. Long phone bills. Investment. Engaged. High on life. Dil vs Dimaag....

Thanks to all you wonder'fool' people for being a part of it and wishing 2011 is as exciting as the year gone by...Happy New Year! :)

Bittersweet

The best part about moving on is that which is yet to come – the busy-ness of it, the sense of purpose, the future that awaits, the anticipation builds. You see a door and you don’t know what lies behind it. A whole another world to explore. A new house with new neighbors and new idiosyncrasies to learn; a new room with new shadows that wait to make friends with your old dreams and forgotten nightmares; new sounds that announce themselves in drips and creaks. A new life with new possibilities.

The worst part about moving on is that which is past – the sadness of it, the sense of loss, the memories that fade into a sepia tint despite promises of forever. You look over your shoulder and you see all that you’re leaving behind. You grieve because you know you’ve said goodbye even though you pretend it’s au revoir. The old house with its worn knowledge, its mysteries exposed; the shadows you know by name; the sounds you’ve investigated a million times; the walls pitted with your deeds. It is home.

Sometimes a song, the music of horns, snatches of conversation, the sound of someone’s laughter, wind rustling through leaves along an endless line of defiant trees, the smell of tobacco warming the morning air, squirrels at play, the squeaky tones of an adventurous toddler’s sneakers, mustachioed men at gates, the milky warm smell of a happy puppy, aged stone warmed by sunlight, the smooth grain of polished wood, bright red blood welling from a cut – and there you are again. In that place with no address; that space you carry within you. Fold by fold it opens to envelope you, until you stand there, just as it used to be.

Nothing has changed. But you don’t live there anymore. Nothing has changed, but these streets don’t look the way they used to. The trees have been cut down. The flowers aren’t the ones you love. It was the people who made it real but where have they gone? Nothing has changed except you.

The monster ate them. The bulldozer got them. The man bought them. They lost the directions. It’s a bittersweet realization, but some places are gone forever :(

PS : Its been a year I moved out of NAL and I miss being there! :'(