"W a r"-rior ;)

After a lot of effort, it was one fateful day; I won the war-of-words with BH. He is extremely witty and hence funny most of the times. Winning the war-of-words with him is like winning a world level debate competition for me. And all of it happened on the same day! :)

Kissing the trophy and holding it in my hand, let me present you the 3 episodes which led me to the victory!

Episode1 - The Begining:
I was extremely upset with his joyful comment on a sensitive topic and then…

BH: Why do you take things seriously?
Me: I can’t be light hearted all the time.
BH: Oh yea right! Women after marriage become heavy, so does the heart..
Me: He he...Very funny!
BH: LOL.. LOL.. Even you agreed when you laughed. You should have laughed saying ‘She-She’ why did you choose ‘He-He’?
Me: That’s because the joke was bad! (*Monstrous laughter*)

Episode 2 - Almost there :
Rarely does he brag. But, this was one of the rarest of the times..

BH: People like me wherever I go. Everyone in college knew me. I had quite a  fan following also. People came to me; in fact they still come to me with their problems, I could solve their problem just like that.
Me: Okay. Okay. Cool. Sit down. Go back to your memories of third standard science lessons. The earth revolves round the sun, not you! (*Huhahaha*)

Episode 3 - The Final Jab :
Back from office, after a hectic day, both of us had missed out on the day's happenings. We switched on the news channel to know the news. And after few minutes,

BH: This paid media! Never give the exact news, they give their opinions. All of them are biased!
Me: Hmm.. I was just wondering.. Isn’t everyone bi-ass-ed? (*Fist pumps*)

With ROARING applause in the background, I humbly utter :

                                 “Thank you, Thank you!” :D

Arrgghh - uments

Arguments - The unwritten rule in the life of people who live together under the same roof. Arguments can ignite because of one small action/inaction, word/no-words or frustration. Over months of marriage, I observed some solutions which have worked for me in wriggling out of or avoiding arguments. There may be many more, I will learn them eventually :)

RESPOND. DON'T REACT.
There is a big difference. Reaction comes with zero-thinking unlike response. When he says something which cuts through your ego and it brings up equally hurting words is when you have to drown them down your mouth. Take a deep breath. Step back. Listen carefully. If you feel situation is just blowing your head-off. Choose some corner of the house. Refuse to argue, even if the person comes behind you shouting all the way. Switch on mute mode. Take refuge in a place where you can cool yourself. Take your time. Choose your words. Give it back in a nice but firm manner when things are cool. ;)

ACCEPT MANUFACTURING DEFECTS
In the initial days of living together, there will be many frustrating things, which you may not like.  You tend to pick up battles on that. Shout. Argue. Sob. But, you see somethings are inherent. They do not change over time. Wet towel will still find its place over the bed, wrapper of the new toothpaste on the wash-basin etc... :P Consider them to be manufacturing defects of that human being and accept that gracefully. And more importantly remember, you are also accepted with some such defects. Relationships are too valuable to fight over petty matters. Arguing over the same matter again and again is insane. It is like doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting different results.


AGREE TO DISAGREE
Watching wildlife programmes has been an irritating issue for me. For BH, it is as enjoyable as those few minutes of a nail-biting finish. He tried explaining to me many a times, on how good the show is, why it interests him etc. Finally, he understood, that I just cannot see through his perspective. Then he stopped explaining. Sometimes he gives in and sometimes he watches while I do something else. We just agreed to disagree.

 

POINTS TO REMEMBER
    Arguments may augment tension if not transformed into a discussion.
    Let go of ego.
    Ensure discussions do not become diss-cuss-sessions.

 

WEAKPOINT
Don't use tears as a weapon in the arguments. It will be an unfair game when your partner is in the ring unarmed. ;)

 

Wrote this post as I was thinking about ways of ending an argument I had with BH for not calling me or messaging me when I was at my parents place! And there beeped my cell-phone :

    "I now understand how empty God's house must have been, when he dropped you into your mother's womb. Missing you dear."

THERE! I realized. I missed an important point to end arguments - "LOVE"

D h i s h u m D h i s h u m ;)

** Disclaimer **

All characters mentioned in this post are entirely fictional..The incident mentioned is purely co-incidental;) Please do not try this "stunt" at home:P

A married man left from work early one Friday afternoon. Instead of going home, however, he squandered the weekend (and his salary) partying with the boys.When he finally returned home on Sunday night, he ran into a barrage of abuse from his wife. After a couple of hours of nagging and berating, his wife asked “How would you like it if you didn’t see me for a couple of days?”

“That would suit me just fine!!!” the man said.

Monday went by, and the man didn’t see his wife.
Tuesday went by with the same result. 

Wednesday went by with the same result.

Thursday, the swelling went down a bit and he could see her a little, just out of the corner of his left eye!

Home Alone

They say : "In any healthy relationship...Sooner or Later, Often or Rarely the soul inside you craves to be a lone wolf" I don't believe in it, But thanks to my BH and his work assignments that I do get to be a lone wolf quite often :(

I celebrated my time alone by doing the following :D

- I played music to its maximum volume ;)
- Watched a SRK movie which BH would NOT(rather NEVER) have allowed me to watch :P
- Go hubby time and come hobby time - I read books :)
- Cleaned every nook and corner. Made our room dust free ;)
- Watched a horror movie! Well...That night I heard weird sounds which made me check every room and every  closet to make sure no-one was lurking around. I slept with a thunderous heartbeat!
 
Just a couple of days and I was bored to death..

- There were no clothes to pick up from the chair/table/bed :P
- There were no wet towels to dry :P
- No fights for the "Remote" :P
- Nobody to peep into what I was reading ;)

I guess all these im-perfections made my life worth living..That's when I realized "Being imperfect is just Perfect" :)
 

It is quite common in a relationship for anyone to give up a part of themselves to make a life together. As I have understood "giving space" and "leaving alone" are two different things. Giving space is "Being alone-together" and leaving alone is the absolute "alone". There maybe people who think differently. So, whenever you need time for yourself : 

COMMUNICATE    UNWIND    NURTURE   :)

PS : Just for you BH >> "Tigers piss on the trees to mark their territory and you mark yours by strewing your clothes all around!" :P ;)