One day suddenly the cool and calm sea of mind is disturbed by a small ripple originating from a small violent thought ....Leaving u astry!! And suddenly the noise in your brain starts to increase to uncontrolable levels freaking u out and u look for a vent,some one to talk to, hold onto.. But...There is no one just no one .......
My minds always a whirlpool of varied emotions and scribbling some of these emotions comes quite naturally to me...Unfortunately everything remains bundled inside due to a lot of factors and the dramatic queen inside me finds relief in writing inside the head only andreading it out aloud to herself ;)
Off late I find myself just going through varied motions of life...Its like my life's stuck at some place and I’m waiting for it to untangle itself and become the way it was. I have become nothing but a passive observer! To onlookers it appears as normal as it can possibly get..But deep down I know that I’m struggling. Struggling to be genuinely happy, struggling to laugh heartily, struggling to indulge in things that make me happy; coz I seem to have forgotten wat makes me happy :( Struggling to live only for myself for a while, struggling to come to peace with my changed surroundings...Its like I want to soar in the sky but I seem to have forgotten flying! I have everything that I could possibly need in my life, but I dnt have myself..Setbacks could never keep me pinned down for long,But this time although I have dealt with them, my inner being is not brimming with joy... Its like thelingering effects prevail....
When lonliness starts to take over you and your thoughts,you see unknown things and you imagine the unimaginary...I dont need an invalidation of my feelings..Wat I need is wat I have rite now..A feeling of being at peace with myself, sitting in my room soaking the last bit of peace exuded by it, every small thing in it reminding me of precious memories, a feeling of belongingness, just being around my family puts everything back in perspective...Now I think :
Why is it that- At times crying heavily for 5 minutes amazingly eases your pain...more than being happy for a very long period??Is shedding a tear more important than wearing a smile?Why then do we keep saying that laughter is the best medicine? When we know for sure...That crying is the last resort...
